Hello, Inner Child

First though, a big hello to you :)

 

Happy 2021!

 

Hoping you had a wonderful Christmas and New year. 

Today, I want to talk today about the inner child.

 I know it’s pretty clear I haven’t lived many years compared to some, BUT, I have found that the older I get the more out of touch I become with my inner child (by inner child I simply mean my ‘child likeness’, the person I was and things I loved as a child; I’ll expand on this more 👇🏼).

Well, this was true; until I went through some things that forced me to come face to face with myself and my true state of being; A season of looking inward and (along with Holy Spirit) doing some invaluable soul work (sifting through lies, bad mindsets and beliefs, rewiring, unlearning, relearning, and all the rest of it). All of this lead to me feeling reconnected once again with the child inside me, I felt ‘me’ again and there was a deep healing taking place.

So, what is the ‘inner child’? I hear you ask

 I’m sure there are many believers that would see the word ‘inner child’ and run in the opposite direction, as if it is some ‘woke’ concept separate from God and good theology. I’m convinced this is just not true. 

The inner child, in my opinion, is our truest self. 

From a biblical and spiritual perspective, I believe that

Our truest self (the inner child), is the perfect God version of us. Untainted. Unchanged. Uninhibited.

This is the version of us that, I believe, existed before entering the world in its sinful state where anything and everything could (and does) taint that perfect heavenly version of us that God created. And I believe that it is the truest self that we will return to in glorification in our glorified bodies (Phil. 3:21; 1 Cor. 15:44). 

You see, for most of us, the person we were as a child is most accurate to who we are deep down. It is our original personality, our created funcitontionings, our unique gifts and outlooks etc. Think ‘nature’ and ‘nurture’. 

Unfortunately though, as we go on in life, trauma changes us, pain, abuse, and just LIFE in general changes us (especially the things that happen to and around us in our early childhood). This is proven on a neurological level - which the book ‘God Shaped Brain’ by Timothy Jennings is so good at explaining. And this is how we end up with what you may have heard as the “wounded inner child”. 

We can go YEARS, without even realizing that we are living out of a facaded version of ourselves, or a lesser version of ourselves that is outworking from this wounded inner child that is dying for attention and healing. We end up living disconnected from ourselves and from reality. We live with wirings that are lies and core beliefs that shape our every move, some of which are not very healthy at all.

So the question would be then 

How do we come back to our truest selves and heal that inner child?

This is going to sound cliche… but...

JESUS.

Yep. First and foremost, alway Jesus.

Coming face to face with Jesus is the way to come face to face with our truest selves. It’s where we can peer into eternity, pull back the blind and see the us He created in perfection.

Commoners Communion on Instagram stated this concept so eloquently recently saying “you give me back myself when we’re together; Your presence puts me back in my own skin”.

And it is just so true.

Healing the inner child also takes work on our part. Work that requires us to be conscious of our thoughts, patterns and beliefs, and be transformed by the renewing of our mind (Rom. 12:2). This is where psychologists and counsellors can be so, so, SO incredibly helpful!

So, how do we know when we are reconnecting with our inner child (truest self)? Or that we’ve lost touch with our inner child in the first place?

I see and have read that there are many signs our ‘inner child’ is being healed, but one of the biggest ones I have recognized not only in my own life but in those around me is that

WHEN YOU RECONNECT WITH YOUR INNER CHILD, CREATIVITY HAS FREEDOM TO FLOW AGAIN 

For me, healing the inner child (or, tending to my soul to sort through the lies to get to the truth of myself and of God) brought with it a release of creativity I didn’t know (forgot) I had. 

Over the years I’ve found my fit mostly in administrative roles, it seems to be where I thrive and certainly one of my gifts. However, in the process I had convinced myself I’m not a ‘creative’. I had convinced myself I need to be one or the other; and that decision led to part of my inner child, my truest self, to die.

Before entering young adulthood though, I was the girl in her bedroom with books full of poems, always on the guitar or piano, writing, singing, writing some more and on occasion drawing. As life went on, and different things happened around me, to me and said over me, this part of myself got pushed aside more and more. 

It’s not just me though! You see, we are all creative in one way or another. We are all created to create, it’s part of our nature as human beings created in the image of a creating God.

Watch a young child, for example. They love to create for the fun of it. There’s no ‘rules’ or fear attached, they paint a blob here, a line there, and are as proud as punch about it! I have no doubt you have drawings from when you were 5 like this!

When I started creating again, in my own unique way, a part of me came alive again. I was moving no longer out of fear of failure, but for the pure joy of enjoying creating, trying something new, giving something a go. I truly believe that’s because I connected once again with the God version of me, and that wounded inner child was being healed and brought to life.

Do I consider myself an artist? Certainly not by any means! But do I love to create and try new things as a child does? I certainly do. And when I’m doing so that’s when I know I’m in a healthy place and that my inner child is being given room to thrive (American therapist Aundi Kolber calls it our ‘window of tolerance’). Only when fear or shame or doubt gets in the driver's seat of my life does that change. And I’d say that’d be the same for you.

So my prayer for us all in 2021 is that our inner child would be given room to heal and flourish. That we would be able to live from a place of rest in our souls that functions out of our truest God created selves.

That we could all say 

With Love,